Mobile Phones Linked to Autism

You will get struck down by lightning if you use them, they will fry your brains. You can even cook your eggs with them. Now mobile phones have been linked to autism.

Dr Richard Lathe, a molecular biologist in the UK, has suggested in his recent report that the rise in autism in Europe can be linked to old mobile phone batteries. The heavy metals that seep from poorly disposed old batteries, correlates to the rise in autism. Are we doomed, is this the end of the personal telecommunication revolution?
Probably not. Oh, did I tell you that mobile phones can also cause hearing loss and blindness